Do men come from Mars and women from Venus?

John Gray made a sensation with his series of Mars and Venus, promoting traditionalist representations of the couple and the respective roles of men and women, as if they did not come from the same planet.

It is an undoubted truth to say that men and women are different. This is basically what we call sex difference. Anatomy is the first identifiable criterion. But it is not only anatomically that men and women differ. They are said to have different ways of seeing the world and different behaviours, if not a different psychology. According to some people, they even come from different planets: March for men, Venus for women.

Thus, it is common for behaviours to be justified or explained by the nature of men or women. Men would value power, competence, efficiency, success, and they would love football. Women would be more communicative, more sentimental, frivolous and interested in fashion. Don’t we hear that shopping is a girl trick, whereas pornography, for example, is mostly a guy one? John Gray, the author of the famous Men are from Mars Women are from Venus, takes up this idea of natural differences between men and women, seeing in the former elastic bands going back and forth between their wives and their caverns where they isolate themselves, and in the latter talkative ones that operate like waves with, therefore, hollows.

The strength of these generalities is that almost everyone repeats them during conversations between buddies on one side and girls on the other. In couples, it’s not unusual for a “you’re a guy, here! “or a “you’re not a chick for nothing! ».

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Of course, these generalities, which are allegedly based on the nature of men and women, make it incomprehensible that some men are sentimental and need to love in order to sleep, that some men are not very interested in power or do not like football, that some women have sex without feelings or are not interested in fashion, and prefer to spend their free time reading rather than shopping, or that some of them have a pronounced inclination for pornography. On the other hand, many women might recognize themselves in the behaviour of seeking isolation at times, while men, talkative or not, go through periods of low spirits and have a vague soul. In short, these generalities are only generalities, and above all, they do not relate to the nature of men on the one hand, and women on the other. Because the principle of nature is that there are no exceptions. Once there are, the naturalness of a behaviour can be questioned. And when these exceptions proliferate, even if they remain in the minority, or because they actually concern everyone, both men and women (such as the need for isolation or wave dips), there is no longer any doubt about the unnatural character of men’s and women’s behaviour. However, received ideas have a hard life: John Gray’s book, and all those he later published in the same vein, are bestsellers.

Read more in Love to the test of the couple.